"Sarcasm is my only defense"
I can’t watch The Originals until tomorrow, but I’ve seen a few posts about it right now that don’t actually spoil anything….
and I’M GETTING REALLY SCARED.
Something about Rebekah….something bad….
fuck this shit
it is entirely inconsistent with elizabeth’s character for her to drop everything (PIRATE KING thank you very much) to raise a child as a landlubber
give me elizabeth, eight months pregnant, still running the show from shipwreck cove
give me elizabeth and her six-year-old
soncabin boy kicking ass and taking names as they outrun the royal navy
give me elizabeth, instead of waiting for will, sailing out to meet him
give me elizabeth dying at sea four years and one week later and signing aboard the flying dutchman to the shock of its captain
give me elizabeth and will co-captaining the dutchman and sailing the seas beyond the edge of the world for eternity together
give me young billy (i’m forced to assume they, as pirates, are unimaginative when it comes to names) telling the story of william turner, who gave up everything for the woman he loved, and elizabeth swann, who took it back with sword and pistol
something always bothered me about that ending and now I know what it was god bless
While there’s reason to believe you shouldn’t be pregnant and aboard a ship, I see no reason why Elizabeth Swann wouldn’t have gone right back to sea.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.
I really like The Originals, but I just couldn’t resist.
#he realizes that he has to leave#that he has to do what damon did#and it hurts#because he thought he was above it#but here he is listening damon yell at him to GO#to save himself#all these years he thought that he would have stayed#remembers begging damon to stay#and there they are tables turned#and its damon begging him to go not to stay#and it hits him hard#he has to go and leave his friend alone#he finally understands#i cry